take a suck o' this

As I was sitting in my jazz class today listening to some girl behind me sing lyrics to some crappy neo-swing song, it dawned on me; besides sand stuck in my butt-crack, nothing seems to annoy me more than hearing a girl sing lyrics which were originally performed by a man. If you are short on time, you could get the gist of this argument by calling to mind Britney Spears’s remake of “My Prerogative.” I mean, Britney couldn’t get it right, and she’s famous for singing. I could just be being sexist, but I can’t help but feel like a monotonous Billie Holiday, singing with the effort one would exert will recording a book on tape does the lyrics
“I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!”
any justice.
Further, I realized (and I wasn’t stoned) that techno is a white man’s counter product to hip-hop. Think about it, hip-hop revolves around heavy base lines, so does techno. Hip-hop tirelessly samples from other genres of music, as does techno. This may be a generalization, but people engulfed in the hip-hip community do drugs, as do raver’s. And as for the ultimate smack-in-the-face, the white people who first made techno said to the black man, “If you’re going to take over all the sports that we started first and show us up by running faster than we do, then we’re gonna copy you’re music, except we’re gonna make our beats faster than yours. So why don’t you put that in your pipe and smoke it.” I don’t know, that’s just one man’s opinion.
In closing, I just want to know why in the blue fuck has John Deer© apparel become a “cool thing”. And I don’t want to hear “because of Ashton Kutcher”, cuz that is bullshit.
-Ben