the mustache guide

Hello.

Now, as many of you know, Jeremy recently killed his mustache. This is sad news, though apparently he's now working towards a "Seattle mustache." Better than no mustache, but I still think it sounds flaccid.

Anyway, as a champion of mustaches worldwide, I present the mustache guide for all men who have a mustache or may someday have a mustache. Please refer to the links below as you develop your facial hair, as there is certainly a difference between good mustache and bad mustache. I have offered brief commentary after each photo.

1.)Selleck

Perhaps the prototype for all other mustaches. Yes, it's probably easier for an older man to achieve this degree of density, but note that this mustache seems particularly masculine, thanks to its fullness. It also complements the eyebrows well. Being Tom Selleck is also a good start.

2.)Oates



Here, Oates is working very well with his hair. Note that his mustache is a little more groomed than Selleck's; this fits his image as an edgy, trendy, quasi-homosexual rocker. It had the same effect on Malisow, minus the "quasi"

3.) Gable

Yes, it worked for Vivian Leigh, but this is a little too dated. It now looks too effeminate. If you're gonna grow a stache, grow it all the way.

4.)Good God

but don't take it too far. this is atrocious

5.) Aw, yeah

Now, if your growth tends to be a little sparse (Mike), this is a good way to go. Note that the mustache and goatee are small, but since they're collaborating, the overall result is quite good. It looks natural. Now, for a goatee gone wrong...

6.) Please no

no no no no no. never ever ever do this. if you want to hook up with a chick, I mean.

thanks for your time, and happy growing!

JR