a new song

REJECTION
By Julia Ramey
To the tune of Fiddler on the Roof’s “Tradition”

CHORUS (Preferably Jewish, in traditional Yiddish garb, dancing in a big circle)

Rejection, rejection! Rejection!
Rejection, rejection! Rejection!

APPLICANTS & PROSPECTIVE APPLICANTS
Who, day and night, must study for the tests while
Continuing to work and drink four nights a week?
And who would prefer, as a twenty-something girl,
To blow all of her cash on shoes?

The Letter, the Letter! Rejection!
The Letter, the Letter! Rejection!

ADMISSIONS DIRECTORS
Who must know the way to crush a person’s dream,
With a sentence or two, and a fake signature?
Who must charge $90 to read a 10-page app,
So they won’t try again next year?

No phone call, No phone call! Rejection!
No phone call, No phone call! Rejection!

NERD
At three, I started reading class. At ten, I finished Faust.
I hear they've sent the letters out. I hope it’s thick.

Tequila, tequila! Rejection!
Tequila, tequila! Rejection!

DEAN OF YALE
And who can’t bother to even send a letter?
Clearly Yale needs the money to mow its pompous lawns.

An email, the fuckers! Rejection!
An email, the fuckers! Rejection!