The Resurgence of Plumb Labs
Slut Monkeys,
Perhaps I will have the professional photos celebrating the half-assed union between one Sinuon Meng and Aden Acklin available for public viewing for the five of us who bother to contribute to this esteemed beacon of literary brillance. I will of course attach a conditional clause dictating that said pictures do not float haphazardly throughout cyberspace. I plan on having Thanksgiving dinner in Boston as the guest of one Katherine Ramey and nothing, lest I repeat, nothing shall avert the gaze of both Katherine and myself from that distant dream.
I have pondered the glaring differences between the international versus domestic rules of professional basketball. Granted, the only rule I'm cognizant of is that the key itself is shaped differently to prevent unstoppable hunks of chocolate thunder like Shaq from taking "high percentage shots". Unless a shot behind the arc somehow counts for four in international play, I can't say I'm terribly familiar with the differences. However, it is fairly obvious that the long-haired dandies from the Eastern Bloc are far better shooters than the street tough, penetrate-and-dish-for-the-easy-dunk, inner city gangbangers that we produce. Ok, I was just think of Allen Iverson, I don't know what I'm talking about.
So...how 'bout those Astros? Null, your synopsis of a "typical" season for the Astros is hauntingly accurate. They've got their bats working and they're going to make a run for the wild card spot and, more than likely, drop the last four games of the season to the likes of the Brewers and miss the post season by a hair's breath.
In other news the temperature has remained at around 100 degrees, thus Dave and I absolutely refuse to leave the condo unless there is an uninterrupted shade pattern to at least one of our automobiles. Fortunately around 6:00 this evening just such an event ocurred thus allowing us to comission the first study attributable to the new right-wing think-tank, The Placklin Group (Plumb-Acklin). While meandering aimlessly through the local area mall we noticed it had been recently refurbished. We concluded that the (approx.) 30% rise in underage T-loc (Tucson Locals) hoochies at the mall was directly relately to the new esoteric qualities of the somewhat recent renovation. Further studies are still pending, and we encourage a group brainstorm to present new ideas worthy of future research. For those of you keeping score at home, yes, The Placklin Group is the political arm of Plumb Labs, which is still a subsidiary of Conhugeco.
Beyond that, I offer only what can be found on the door of my fridge assembled from the hokie Onion word-bite montage. Do what you will with it:
1)Developmentally controversial bacon under fire for reports of terrible asshole bleeding tradgedy.
2) President Bush cracks down on "Goddamn Claymation Porn". Halts production of inflatable McGyver puppet.
3) Surgeon General recommends tastier secretary breasts.
4) Girlfriend abandons pathetic assistant manager for Islamic man.
5) Mom drug use "Totally IMP", boring area stoner applauds heroic woman's nightmarish high.
-Aden
Perhaps I will have the professional photos celebrating the half-assed union between one Sinuon Meng and Aden Acklin available for public viewing for the five of us who bother to contribute to this esteemed beacon of literary brillance. I will of course attach a conditional clause dictating that said pictures do not float haphazardly throughout cyberspace. I plan on having Thanksgiving dinner in Boston as the guest of one Katherine Ramey and nothing, lest I repeat, nothing shall avert the gaze of both Katherine and myself from that distant dream.
I have pondered the glaring differences between the international versus domestic rules of professional basketball. Granted, the only rule I'm cognizant of is that the key itself is shaped differently to prevent unstoppable hunks of chocolate thunder like Shaq from taking "high percentage shots". Unless a shot behind the arc somehow counts for four in international play, I can't say I'm terribly familiar with the differences. However, it is fairly obvious that the long-haired dandies from the Eastern Bloc are far better shooters than the street tough, penetrate-and-dish-for-the-easy-dunk, inner city gangbangers that we produce. Ok, I was just think of Allen Iverson, I don't know what I'm talking about.
So...how 'bout those Astros? Null, your synopsis of a "typical" season for the Astros is hauntingly accurate. They've got their bats working and they're going to make a run for the wild card spot and, more than likely, drop the last four games of the season to the likes of the Brewers and miss the post season by a hair's breath.
In other news the temperature has remained at around 100 degrees, thus Dave and I absolutely refuse to leave the condo unless there is an uninterrupted shade pattern to at least one of our automobiles. Fortunately around 6:00 this evening just such an event ocurred thus allowing us to comission the first study attributable to the new right-wing think-tank, The Placklin Group (Plumb-Acklin). While meandering aimlessly through the local area mall we noticed it had been recently refurbished. We concluded that the (approx.) 30% rise in underage T-loc (Tucson Locals) hoochies at the mall was directly relately to the new esoteric qualities of the somewhat recent renovation. Further studies are still pending, and we encourage a group brainstorm to present new ideas worthy of future research. For those of you keeping score at home, yes, The Placklin Group is the political arm of Plumb Labs, which is still a subsidiary of Conhugeco.
Beyond that, I offer only what can be found on the door of my fridge assembled from the hokie Onion word-bite montage. Do what you will with it:
1)Developmentally controversial bacon under fire for reports of terrible asshole bleeding tradgedy.
2) President Bush cracks down on "Goddamn Claymation Porn". Halts production of inflatable McGyver puppet.
3) Surgeon General recommends tastier secretary breasts.
4) Girlfriend abandons pathetic assistant manager for Islamic man.
5) Mom drug use "Totally IMP", boring area stoner applauds heroic woman's nightmarish high.
-Aden
posted by Aden at 9:02 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home