'B' Team Terrorism
Dear marginally loyal readers, I have but a solitary thought for your consideration so treat it as though it were a warm fur wrapped about the dura mater so as to allow all of your lobes to work in unison toward the resolution of the following quandary.
While patiently and attentively observing the news and all of the ugliness that usually pervades our media outlets I took note of the recent woolly happenings with our Anglophone brothers across the pond. As a natural recourse the new PM elevated the terror threat to an alarming 'critical'.
Side Note: Again, the Limeys have established a terror threat matrix that incites an associative response from their denizens. This is contrasted starkly to our own collage of failed Gatorade flavors that suffice to do little more than incite the insufferable the wrath of my meek and insignificant musings.
Be that as it may, I'm rather confident that we have little to fear. Obviously the story centers on a couple of 'B' Team floozies careening an SUV soaked in gasoline (I know, even the IRA could locate some plastique) into a Scottish Airport. While it's obvious these amateur jihadists were long on an overdeveloped hypothalamus gland -I can't imagine any other justification for such a hard-on for something, anything- and awful short on Semtex or Primasheet, the true story is behind the headlines.
The example I bring you -and the axis on which this meandering argument centers on- is why on earth would any self respecting terrorist cell use a fucking Jeep Cherokee in lieu of the 200 Diesel Mercedes?
An image of turban-clad holy warriors in an anonymous mountain redoubt shamefully shaking their heads, casting disapproving glances amongst each other whilst praying feverishly to Allah that the aforementioned terror network doesn't use their particular jihad brigade as a point of reference tonight on Sky News. How embarrassing that would be. How déclassé.
No, these fumbling morons are clearly not a particularly well financed group. As discussed well over a year ago, and so eruditely pointed out by one Cory Null, if you're going to kidnap Anwar al-Sadat's children, abduct a Western journalist, or pull off a car bombing (hello?) then you'd better give more serious thought to the 200D Mercedes.
Lastly, I'm throwing this on the old Towing the Company Line Blog because, well, I miss it and I figure I can press some of you back into literary service for the purpose of keeping me wildly entertained. More specifically, I'm calling out Null, Serazio, Valcke, Plumb, Ramey, Anderson, and Miller...
While patiently and attentively observing the news and all of the ugliness that usually pervades our media outlets I took note of the recent woolly happenings with our Anglophone brothers across the pond. As a natural recourse the new PM elevated the terror threat to an alarming 'critical'.
Side Note: Again, the Limeys have established a terror threat matrix that incites an associative response from their denizens. This is contrasted starkly to our own collage of failed Gatorade flavors that suffice to do little more than incite the insufferable the wrath of my meek and insignificant musings.
Be that as it may, I'm rather confident that we have little to fear. Obviously the story centers on a couple of 'B' Team floozies careening an SUV soaked in gasoline (I know, even the IRA could locate some plastique) into a Scottish Airport. While it's obvious these amateur jihadists were long on an overdeveloped hypothalamus gland -I can't imagine any other justification for such a hard-on for something, anything- and awful short on Semtex or Primasheet, the true story is behind the headlines.
The example I bring you -and the axis on which this meandering argument centers on- is why on earth would any self respecting terrorist cell use a fucking Jeep Cherokee in lieu of the 200 Diesel Mercedes?
An image of turban-clad holy warriors in an anonymous mountain redoubt shamefully shaking their heads, casting disapproving glances amongst each other whilst praying feverishly to Allah that the aforementioned terror network doesn't use their particular jihad brigade as a point of reference tonight on Sky News. How embarrassing that would be. How déclassé.
No, these fumbling morons are clearly not a particularly well financed group. As discussed well over a year ago, and so eruditely pointed out by one Cory Null, if you're going to kidnap Anwar al-Sadat's children, abduct a Western journalist, or pull off a car bombing (hello?) then you'd better give more serious thought to the 200D Mercedes.
Lastly, I'm throwing this on the old Towing the Company Line Blog because, well, I miss it and I figure I can press some of you back into literary service for the purpose of keeping me wildly entertained. More specifically, I'm calling out Null, Serazio, Valcke, Plumb, Ramey, Anderson, and Miller...
posted by Aden at 10:45 AM
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